


the last day of our fairytale

by cosmicsray



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Baguio, Break Up, Filipino, IDK WHAT TO PUT, M/M, iwaoi loves each other
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28045533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicsray/pseuds/cosmicsray
Summary: “Iwa-chan, sabi mo, gusto mo ‘yan i-play sa kasal mo, right?”Natin. Sa kasal sana natin.Iwaizumi had thought of saying that as an answer pero ayaw niyang hindi maging komportable si Tooru. Tumingin siya rito at tumango.“It’s a nice song. Sana magustuhan ng pakakasalan mo.”Nginitian siya ni Oikawa, raising his eyebrows when Iwaizumi looked at him with surprised eyes. Hajime is so sure he heard a hint of something in Tooru’s voice, but he couldn’t figure out what type of feeling it is.Putangina.Tanging nasabi niya sa utak niya nang mabilis na inilipat ni Tooru ang kanta.Baka may pag-asa pa.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 5





	the last day of our fairytale

**Author's Note:**

> hi???? here's the iwaoi breakup in baguio, literally no one asked for (except for fran alex and 3 more people i think FHDSHKDS)
> 
> please note that:  
> 1\. in my head they are turning 19, so they may be 18-19 years old. kag-graduate lang ng senior high era. not really sure basta yun and range HAHAHAHA  
> 2\. some things may be inaccurate so kung may taga-baguio man na nagbabasa nito, i'm so sorry. i researched naman hindi lang ako confident LMAO. I've only been to baguio once. huhuhu  
> 3\. TAGLISH. and when i say taglish, taglish talaga SORRY. ganito kasi bobo ako in both languages /j  
> i dedicate this to all iwaoi spikers who interacted with me before my twitter acc got restricted for 10 hours. 
> 
> i hope you enjoy reading!
> 
> here's the mentioned [ hajime's road trip playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5TIuwHbJ4jHNVp8HgvkIBI?si=GbPuQRM-St6hWXYKC3QteQ)

“Ilang araw kayo doon, tatlo? Tapos ano, wala na? Iwan ka na?” Miwa asked with a sarcastic tone bago siya sumimsim sa hawak na kape. She continued to look at the night sky, no stars painted at all. 

“Siguro. Hindi ko alam, parang wala na talaga eh. Alam mo yun,” Iwaizumi replied before leaning forward to the railings in front of him. Tumitig lang siya sa hawak na empty paper cup na para bang wala ang kaibigan sa tabi niya. 

Lalo lang hindi tumingin si Iwa sa kaibigan nang maramdaman niya ang malamig na hangin ng gabi.

“Tol, lugi ka eh. Ikaw lang damaged sa huli,” Miwa said in a low voice, slowly turning to Iwaizumi who is still busy with his cup.

Miwa knows when her bestfriend is hurt. Miwa knows when her bestfriend is overthinking. Alam niya rin kung kailan masaya si Iwa at hindi kasama ang araw na ‘to doon. Sa tagal nang pagkakaibigan nila, ngayon yung itsurang pinipilit lang ng kaibigan niyang maging masaya. 

Tumawa nang mahina si Iwaizumi. But there’s no humor in it. All you can hear from it is the hidden pain. Feelings buried at the pit of his heart, thoughts buried at the back of this mind. Nilingon niya si Miwa na seryosong tumingin din sa kanya.

“Tangina, mahal ko eh. Si Tooru ‘yon, pre. Kahit anong gusto non, ibibigay ko. Kahit sobrang nakakatanga. Kahit sobrang hirap ibigay. Kung gusto niya tapusin, kung doon siya sasaya, bakit hindi?” 

Umiling ang kausap kay Iwaizumi. Ang nasa isip lang ni Miwa ngayon ay kung gaano kahilig ni Iwa maglarong martyr pagdating kay Tooru. She knows why Iwaizumi loves Oikawa so much and she respects that. Hindi naman siya kasali sa relasyon nila pero pagod na rin siyang laging nakikita si Iwa na ganito. 

“Ang sakin lang, Haj, ikaw nalang lagi yung nagbibigay. Ikaw yung laging nauubos. Siya ba?” 

“Mahal ako ni Tooru,” he strongly pronounced every syllable na para bang iyon ang pinaniniwalaan niya nang buong-buo.

“Eh ba’t ramdam mong iiwan ka na?” 

Isang tanong. Isang tanong, natameme siya. Isang tanong, natulala na. Hindi niya rin alam. He may be wrong, he may be just jumping to conclusion. But all he knows is that Oikawa loves, _loved maybe_ , him. The truth that he will always believe in.

**UNANG ARAW**

“I’ll play your roadtrip playlist, please?”

Tumango lang si Iwaizumi at inabot ang cellphone sa nobyo. Ngumiti nang mabilis si Oikawa sa kanya bago itinuon ang pansin sa cellphone. Hajime stepped on the gas and his car starts moving past the traffic lights. 

Plano ni Iwaizumi na hindi nalang isipin kung ano ba ang mangyayari sa mga susunod na araw. But the universe didn’t align for him. Wala yatang paki sa kanya. Pag pindot ni Oikawa sa shuffle play ay tumunog sa buong pick-up ang Never Stop (Wedding Version) by SafetySuit. 

“Iwa-chan, sabi mo, gusto mo ‘yan i-play sa kasal mo, right?” 

_Natin. Sa kasal sana natin._ Iwaizumi had thought of saying that as an answer pero ayaw niyang hindi maging komportable si Tooru. Tumingin siya rito at tumango. 

“It’s a nice song. Sana magustuhan ng pakakasalan mo.” 

Nginitian siya ni Oikawa, raising his eyebrows when Iwaizumi looked at him with surprised eyes. Hajime is so sure he heard a hint of something in Tooru’s voice, but he couldn’t figure out what type of feeling it is. 

_Putangina_. Tanging nasabi niya sa utak niya nang mabilis na inilipat ni Tooru ang kanta.

_Baka may pag-asa pa._

* * *

Their drive to Baguio took 5 hours from Manila, even though 4 hours ang expected time of arrival. 5 am sila lumayas, 10 am na sila nang dumating. They didn’t know Baguio has heavy traffic. After the song incident, hindi na rin umimik masyado si Oikawa tungkol sa mga ganoong bagay. He keeps on talking about other things para raw hindi antukin si Iwa at maaksidente pa sila. _I can’t afford to die right now_ , Tooru’s words that made Iwa laugh.

“Wait lang, wait lang.” Mahinang hinila ni Oikawa si Iwaizumi sa damit nito kaya lumingon agad ito sa kanya.

Nandito na sila sa hotel na tutuluyan. Actually, hindi pa, they’re still on the parking lot. Oikawa booked this last month, nagtalo pa sila dahil sabi ni Iwaizumi, mukhang mahal sa hotel na ‘to. Of course, Tooru won. May free breakfast buffet, may hot tub at malaki naman yung room. A good deal, right? Iwaizumi gave up and agreed in the end.

Now, he can’t help but smile a little, seeing Tooru struggle to tie his shoelaces. He has his luggages and a neck pillow on his hands, hindi alam kung paano yuyuko. 

“Ako na,” Iwaizumi said and even before Oikawa gets to react, nakayuko na siya at naayos na ang shoelaces. “Basic.” 

Oikawa cringed at what Iwaizumi just said, the latter earning a light smack on his right arm. But instead of violently reacting, walang ibang nagawa si Iwa nang hindi tanggalin ng kasama ang kamay sa kanya. He linked their arms further and started taking their steps towards the entrance of the hotel. 

The reception just asked for Oikawa’s name pagkatapos ay mabilis silang in-assist patungo sa hotel room nila. They were welcomed by a large, glass window, covered by a nice curtain. Malaki ang kama, kasya silang dalawa. Wala naman silang problema doon, they’ve tried sleeping on the same bed and it turned out fine. 

Inilapag lang ng nag-assist sa kanila ang mga bagahe pagtapos noon ay naiwan na silang dalawa. Tooru went to the glass window, slightly parting the large curtain to see the view.

“Woah,” Tanging nasabi niya nang makita ang view. Trees was the first thing he noticed bago matanaw ang iilang mga building. 

Oikawa felt Iwaizumi’s footsteps and he knew he stopped behind him. He knows he wants to hug and touch him, kaya hinintay niya. He waited and fortunately, it came.

Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around his waist. Nagdikit ang mga katawan nila, Tooru feeling— also hearing, Hajime’s throbbing heart. This caused Tooru’s breathing to stop, hindi niya alam kung sa sakit o dahil sa sobrang nararamdaman niya para sa lalaki. 

Slowly, Iwaizumi rested his chin on Oikawa’s shoulder. He slightly turned his head para makita ang mukha ni Oikawa. 

“Pagod ka?” He asked with an almost inaudible voice, pero rinig na rinig iyon ni Tooru dahil nakatapat halos ang labi ni Iwaizumi sa tainga niya. 

Oikawa turned his head, only a little or else, mababangga siya sa ulo ni Iwa. He looked into his eyes and nodded at him. 

Iwa smiled. And he’s still smiling as he kisses, more like a peck because of how short-lived it is, Tooru on the lips. Natawa siya nang mahina nang makitang namula kaagad si Tooru.

“You think you’re so cool, no? Magagantihan din kita,” mayabang na sabi nito, still not breaking the eye-contact they have established earlier.

“Gantihan mo na ako ngayon.” 

The statement only gained an eye roll from Oikawa and a grin from Iwaizumi. Unti-unti namang niluwagan ni Iwaizumi ang pagkakayap sa boyfriend niya. Ramdam niyang pagod na nga si Tooru dahil pumupungay na ang mga mata nito.

“Bahala ka nga jan. Let’s go to bed na.”

Iwaizumi agreed, gently pulling him by the waist. They softly landed on the bed, Tooru lying on Iwa’s body. He gently shifted to a more comfortable position, resting his read on Iwa’s chest and embracing him by his waist. 

Silence. 

God, how Iwaizumi wishes to stay like this for the rest of his life. Just him and Tooru. 

He closed his eyes to cherish the moment, putting his head above Oikawa’s hair, where his fingers were also resting.

“I love you.” Oikawa looked up to see Hajime sleeping. Wala siyang ibang nagawa kung hindi ngumiti nalang sabay hatak sa comforter na nadaganan nila. 

It’s just too bad Iwaizumi didn’t hear it. 

* * *

“Masarap nga dito, ang kulit mo, Haj. Believe the reviews.” 

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at him because of the sudden nickname he has never heard from Oikawa’s lips. Nanghahamon din siyang tinignan nito kaya tinawanan nalang siya ni Iwa. Hindi pinansin ng kasama ang pagtawa niya, instead Tooru pulled him by the hand bago pumasok sa loob ng kainan. _Intertwined holding hands_ , sa isip-isip ni Iwaizumi.

“Dapat lang na masarap, Good Taste pangalan ng restaurant nila,” mahinang sagot niya kahit ilang segundo na yata ang nakalipas. They sat down at a table near the open window, gusto ni Oikawa na maramdaman yung lamig kahit katanghalian.

“Witty ka na niyan?” Tanong niya kahit rinig na rinig ni Iwaizumi yung mahinang tawa niya bago sila makaupo.

Lumingon-lingon si Tooru sa paligid and dumadami ang pumapsok. It makes sense because it’s lunch time, right? A server gave them the menu, quickly catching the attention of the couple. Nginitian lang sila ng nag-abot nito at umalis na rin. Maybe, they’ll just call them later when they’re ready to order, they’re not really sure. 

“Ikaw nagsabi niyan, babe, not me.” 

Binelatan lang siya ni Tooru, just to cover up his blushing cheeks. Hindi madalas na gumamit ng callsigns si Iwa, so this really is a rare moment for him. Parang nakikipag karera yung puso niya. Isang babe lang, bagsak siya.

Iwaizumi just held Oikawa’s free hand that’s on the table while they skim through the menu. In the end, they ordered what the internet says, their specialty chicken, buttered chicken, chopsuey and fried rice. Their order came not long enough, kaya excited silang kumain. 

“I told you, masarap. Ano? Ano ka ngayon,” Tooru teased pagkatapos nilang maubos ang pagkain sa mesa. 

“Okay, you win, love. Anong next na gusto mong puntahan?” 

Iwaizumi continued to eat his desert, saying this without looking up to Oikawa. He was minding his own business until he felt Tooru slap his arm lightly, it’s as if he was just touching them.

“What’s wrong with you?” He squinted his eyes, he looks like he’s accusing Hajime of something horrible. The latter looked up with wide-eyes because he was obviously surprised by the question and the slap.

“Anong what’s wrong with me?”

“Bigla mo akong…. Tinatawag ng ganyan….” Oikawa pouted for a second and then, binawi rin agad. Iwaizumi wished he would have captured that, siguro mapapangiti nalang siya ng parang tanga pag maaalala niya yon. 

“Babe? Love? You don’t like it?” He tilted his head, also reaching for Tooru’s fingers na nanlalamig na. It’s not even night time yet, for Christ’s sake, bakit sobra siyang nilalamig?

“No… ano, I’m just surprised. You didn’t seem to like it before, kaya Iwa-chan lang tawag ko sayo,” Tooru softly answered. Walang ibang tumatakbo sa utak ni Hajime kundi ang kaharap niya. The younger still puts all his attention at the plates they’ve eaten on, instead of his boyfriend.

“Kailan ko sinabi? You just assumed, Tooru.” 

Biglang natigil si Oikawa, making Iwa think twice about what he just said. May mali ba? Did he offend him? Iwaizumi wants to panic pero nakita na naman niyang ngumuso si Tooru, the pout that will always make him smile. ** _Poutykawa._**

“I mean, kahit ano pang itawag mo sakin—”

“Kahit pangit itawag ko sayo?”

“Kahit ano. Kapag sayo galing, gusto ko agad. Wala nang isip-isip,” Sobrang yabang ng tono ni Hajime kaya walang ibang nagawa si Oikawa kung hindi tumawa. 

“Bolero ka lang. Burnham tayo next, gusto mo ba, love?” Muntik pang mabilaukan sa sariling laway si Oikawa pagtapos sabihin. Kinilig ka ba siya dahil sa titig sa kanya ni Iwaizumi ngayon, o dahil sa pagtawag niya nang ganoon sa taong pinakagusto niya? 

_Let’s just say it’s both,_ answering his own question. A question Tooru will always confidently answer, even when he’s on his own.

* * *

“Ayaw mo ba talaga? Dumayo ka dito sa Baguio, tas di mo ‘to titikman?” Inangat ni Hajime ang hawak na strawberry taho, mainit pa kaya kakaiba ang paghawak niya sa plastic cup. 

Tooru shook his head dramatically, even tried to cross his arms, kaso tutumba ang nirentahan nilang two-person bike. Iwaizumi is still looking at him na parang ineexpect na biglang gustuhin niyang tumikim sa kinakain na taho. 

“Isang sipsip lang, tapos…”

“Ano?”

“May libre kang kiss sakin buong araw. Anywhere you want.” 

“Kung sa tingin mo makukuha mo ako sa ganyan, Iwa-chan, then, I hate you for being right,” umiiling na sabi ni Tooru. Sinenyasan niya lang ang kasama na lumapit, he couldn’t get up dahil nga tutumba ang ibinabalanseng biskleta. 

Iwa stood in front of him, tinitingnan ang reaksyon ni Oikawa. The latter sipped a little with a disgusting face expression but after he swallowed and tried to scrutinize the exact taste of the taho, nagiba ang itsura niya. 

“Sarap, hm?” 

Tooru aggressively nodded. “Bilhan mo ako. But may kiss pa rin ako ah.”

“Opo, master Tooru.” The said boy just smiled at him sweetly, causing his cheeks to heat up (dagdag pa ang malamig na hangin, Iwaizumi couldn’t hide it.).

Sabay nilang ninamnam ang sarap ng strawberry taho. Pinanood niya si Oikawa na enjoy-in ang pangalawang baso niya non. 

Iwa thought he wouldn’t enjoy going here. Bakit? Dahil nga, nagdududa na siya sa relasyon nila. Hindi niya na ramdam noon mga nakaraang buwan. Pero iba pala talaga kapag kayong dalawa nalang. Maybe this is really what they needed to save their relationship. Maybe Iwaizumi’s instincts were wrong. _Pwede pa ’to. Pwede pa ‘to masalba. Gusto kong isalba_ , paulit-ulit na sabi niya sa utak niya. 

Pagkatapos ng masarap na taho, sinubukan naman nila ang sikat na swan boat, kung saan umupo lang si Oikawa at hinayaang magsagwan si Iwaizumi. Of course, Iwaizumi complained pero wala na rin siyang nagawa noong huli. Tooru took a lot of pictures, although sobrang late uploader niya talaga. He just thought, he couldn’t let this moment to not be captured. 

They went to Camp John Hay when the sun was already setting. Wala naman silang ibang ginawa doon kundi mag-picture dahil sarado na noong dumating sila. Oikawa suggested eating at a restaurant recommended by the internet again. Hindi na umalma si Hajime dahil wala naman siyang alam na kainan dito.

“Dito yung Christmas Village, diba? Bakit wala ngayon,” inosenteng tanong ni Iwa nang madaanan nila ang Baguio Country Club. 

“Baliw, it’s literally May. Of course, wala ngayon nun.” Tinawanan siya nang malakas ni Tooru, pero nagpatuloy lang siya sa pagddrive.

“Kala ko all season yon. Edi balik nalang tayo dito sa December.”

Suddenly, Tooru’s laugh faded and turned into an awkward chuckle. This made Iwa glance at him and he knows the face his boyfriend is making. Iniwas nito ang tingin sa kanya, instead, he looked outside the window. The older man just shrugged it off, kahit alam niyang kailangan na talaga nila ‘to pag-usapan.

Hajime wants to talk about it. Hajime wants to talk about what bothers Tooru but something just makes him pull it back. 

Parang mas gusto niya nalang pala mabuhay sa kasinungalingan kaysa malaman ang kung anumang katotohanan ang lalabas sa bibig ni Oikawa. 

The whole car ride was silent. Iwaizumi drove their way back to their hotel with frustration building up inside him. He couldn’t figure out what’s wrong. He couldn’t figure out why, if it really is what's gonna happen, they need to part ways. 

_Saan ba ako nagkamali?_

That’s a question he can never answer by himself.

* * *

“Iwa-chan! Hindi ko maayos yung heater. Help, please,” sigaw ni Oikawa mula sa banyo.

Isang oras din silang hindi nag-imikan. Tahimik na nanonood si Iwaizumi ng palabas sa TV, and he’s surprised to hear Oikawa talk to him again. 

The former didn’t even hesitate, quickly getting on his feet, kahit hindi siya sigurado kung kaya niya ba talagang ayusin kung ano man yon. 

Buti at hindi pa nakatanggal ang mga damit ni Oikawa dahil kung hindi, hindi niya alam kung anong gagawin. Tooru stood outside the hot tub, waiting for him to come and fix the water heater.

“Mali lang yung pag-ikot mo, okay na ba yung ganito kainit?” 

Parang nakuryente si Iwaizumi nang magkalapit silang dalawa. Oikawa stepped beside him to test the water. Mukhang okay naman sa kanya dahil tumuntong na siya sa loob nito. 

“Uh, thank you,” he whispered, it seems like nahihiya pa siya sa kasama. 

Iwa just looked at him, nodding shortly. Pero hindi pa rin umiiwas ng tingin si Tooru pagtapos ng ilang segundo. Hindi na yata kakayanin ni Iwaizumi magtagal kaya sumenyas itong lalabas na ng CR. 

“Wait, Iwa,” malakas na tawag ni Oikawa kaya napalingong muli ang lalaki.

“Can I get my kiss right now?” 

Natulala si Iwaizumi. Kiss. Ah, yung deal nila sa taho. How could he forget that? 

“Lips,” he added in a small voice, still standing inside the hot tub.

“Kala ko hindi mo na ic-claim eh.” 

He quickly walked and stepped inside the hot tub. Kasya sila. They fit inside perfectly and that’s making them go crazy. Hindi nagtagal nang lumapat ang mga labi nila sa isa’t isa. Oikawa’s arms tightly wrapped around his neck, Iwaizumi’s hands on his hips, the water that they are feeling beneath their feet. Everything feels different. But at the same time, it feels like something they will keep forever.

They’ve kissed before. A lot of times. But this one hits different. Parang ibinubuhos nila ang mga emosyon na matagal nilang kinulong sa mga sarili nila. 

They shared a long kiss and after that? It’s a secret only shared between the two of them. 

**IKALAWANG ARAW**

“No, I like strawberry-flavored things, but not the actual strawberry. Gets mo ba, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa explained as his boyfriend continued to pick strawberries. Siya rin naman, pero tapos na siya, so he decided to just talk at busy Iwaizumi.

“So you like strawberry jam? Bakit ayaw mo bumili kanina?” Iwa looked at him before gesturing at Oikawa that he’s done harvesting. The next thing they need to do is to pay for it. 

Oikawa sighed.

“I don’t like strawberry jam. Okay, that’s an exception. Pero strawberry cake, strawberry shake, strawberry taho— oh, oo nga pala, babe! Bili tayo ng strawberry ice cream doon,” he excitedly said, pointing at the dirty ice cream stall using his lips. 

Hajime just grinned at how easily Tooru gets distracted with the things he’s talking about. And he’s actually happy, knowing these things about Oikawa, since they probably wouldn’t talk about this in Manila. 

After paying for the strawberries they had picked, sinubukan naman nila ang strawberry ice cream. Oikawa probably ate 3 ice creams in total dahil naawa siya sa ibang nagtitinda kung sa isang tindahan lang siya bibili.

“Hindi naman nila dibdibin yon, Oikawa. I promise you.” 

“Kahit na. Nakakahiya lang, tsaka hindi ka ba nasarapan, Iwaizumi,” stressing every syllable of the boy’s name. 

In return, Iwa just took his free hand— since they are both carrying bags full of strawberries and vegetables Iwa’s mom reminded him to buy, as they walk towards his car. 

“Saan tayo next?” Iwaizumi started the engine of his car. 

Tooru was on his phone, looking through his notes app para hanapin ang **DAY 2 DATE IN BAGUIO WITH IWA-CHAN** note niya. 

“Valley of colors sana, but are you sure wala kang gustong iba na puntahan?” Oikawa averted his gaze to Iwaizumi, who was already looking at him, hands placed on the steering wheel. 

He just shook his head, “Alam kong matagal mo na plinano ‘to. Kahit saan naman, basta kasama kita.” 

“Ang landi, Hajime.” 

“Jowa mo ako, it’s my duty,” Iwaizumi joked, silently laughing right after.

With the sound of ‘Tch.’ from his lips, we can say Tooru completely ignored the fact that the color of his cheeks changed evidently into the color of strawberries, turning away from Iwa’s gaze. But not Hajime, smirking before starting to drive his car. 

* * *

Valley of Colors was fun. May tumulong sa kanilang pamilya para mag-picture dahil mukhang hirap na hirap na nga si Oikawa na magkaroon sila nang maayos na picture na magkasama. While their next destination, Wright Park, isn’t really for Tooru dahil muntik na siyang malaglag nang mag horseback riding sila. They ate lunch after, at Baguio Craft Brewery kung saan sarap na sarap si Iwaizumi sa mga pagkain. 

“Babe, I have a suggestion kung saan tayo pwede next,” Oikawa said with a sheepish smile.

Katatapos lang nila magpicture nang nakasuot ng Igorot costume na sikat na nirerentahan sa Baguio Botanical Garden. They even took photos with some of the natives na naaliw kay Tooru at dinaldal pa siya ng ilang minuto. 

“Mhm?” Turning his attention to Oikawa. 

“Alam mo yung sikat na scary building. Old Diplomat Hotel. Complete Baguio experience if we ever see one weird creature. Diba?” Sabay alog niya sa braso ni Iwa na kanina niya pa kapit-kapit. 

Iwaizumi met Oikawa’s excitement in his eyes pero kabaliktaran iyon ng kaniya.

“Gago, ayoko. Ito ang oras na tatanggi ako sayo, Tooru.” 

This made the younger’s eyebrows almost stitch together. His boyfriend laughed obnoxiously kaya hiyang-hiya siya sa mga nakakasalubong nila ngayon. 

“Iwa-chan?! Takot ka? Iwaizumi Hajime, takot sa multo?!” 

“Oo, kaya wag na wag mo akong ig-ghost,” he retaliated without any hesitation in his voice kaya agad na tumigil ang pagtawa nang halos hindi na makahingang Oikawa.

Huminto sa paglalakad si Tooru, kaya napahinto rin ang kasama at hinarap ito. Wala silang pakielam kung daan-daanan nalang sila ng mga tao.

“Mukha bang kaya kitang iwan ng walang paalam?” 

The taller man said it so casually to the point that Iwaizumi almost didn’t read between the lines. Hindi nalang niya pinansin at sinabi because to him, it sounds like a hint. A subtle farewell. To him, it means that Tooru will bid a goodbye somewhere in the near future. It might even be the nearest. 

And he doesn’t like the clenching of his heart, the slow crushing. Not even a bit. Never in a million years. 

* * *

Dumaan sila sa Old Diplomat Hotel pero hindi sila nagtagal doon. Marami namang tao kaya hinayaan nalang ni Iwa si Tooru, sa isip-isip niya, baka isa na talaga ‘to sa huling araw na masaya silang magkasama. Uuwi na sila bukas, he’s not sure what’s gonna happen tonight, pero iba ang pakiramdam niya.

Ramdam ang malamig na hangin habang naglalakad sila ngayon sa Session Road. The sun is already setting, orange and pink light reflecting onto their skins. May na-search si Iwaizumi na maganda acoustic bar dito, kaya pumayag si Tooru. 

Even though Iwaizumi is kind of giving him a cold shoulder, hindi nito mapigilan na hindi hawakan ang kamay ni Tooru. Their hands intertwined inside the large pocket of Iwa’s jacket. 

“Wag tayo masyado mag-alcohol. You’re driving,” bilin ni Oikawa. Iwaizumi just nodded slightly before sitting side by side on a high stool with a round table. 

May banda sa harap nila, kaya kanina pang nakatitig si Tooru doon. What was he thinking? Naiisip niyang bagay si Iwa magbanda. There’s literally nothing this man cannot do, except siguro sa pagpasok sa isang haunted house. 

He smiled, feeling his cheeks blush for the nth time this day. Naalala niya noong kinantahan siya ni Iwaizumi dahil hindi siya makatulog. Iwaizumi is his best lullaby. 

Umorder lang sila ng tig-isang bote ng alak at ibang pagkain. It was a light alcohol kaya hindi na nagreklamo si Tooru. Mahina kasi siya sa alcoholic drinks, plus they’re in a foreign place. They cannot risk themselves. 

Their order didn’t take too long. Saktong nagsalita ang bokalista. Sa isip ni Tooru ay natuwa siyang may background music sila habang umiinom.

“So, ang susunod nating kanta, para ‘to sa mga magjowang malapit maghiwalay. Stay strong sa inyo,” masiglang sabi ng lalaking bokalista na akala mo maganda ang mensaheng lumalabas sa bibig niya.

_  
_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you  
And I... will swallow my pride  
You're the one that I love  
And I'm saying goodbye_

Oikawa stiffened in his seat habang narinig naman niyang bumuntonghininga si Iwaizumi bago tumungga sa boteng hawak. 

_  
_

_And I will swallow my pride  
You’re the one I love  
And I’m saying goodbye_

_Say something, I’m giving up on you…_

Tumitig lang si Iwaizumi sa hawak na bote. Ramdam na ramdam niya ang titig na ibinibigay sa kanya ng katabi ngayon. Hindi niya alam kung bakit pero ang kaninang namumuo na tensyon sa pagitan nilang dalawa ay lalo lang bumigat ngayon.

Putangina. Paulit-ulit sa utak niya. 

Putangina. Putangina.

_Putanginang buhay._

Ayaw niya ibigay ang hinihinging tingin sa kanya. He knows once he turns a look to Oikawa, he’s gonna fucking lose it. Tooru felt that Iwa wants to be silent. He wants to space out right now, kaya hindi na niya pinilit pang bigyan siya ng atensyon nito. 

They finished their food and drinks, mostly went to Oikawa’s stomach dahil mukhang busy sa panonood ng banda si Iwa. Habang siya, nag-iisip kung ano bang dapat. And you know what Tooru has decided? He’ll finally confront this. The problem—their problem, that has been long overdue. Pagod na rin siyang nakikitang ganito si Hajime. Na nagkaganito sila. He’s tired of running from his problems as if they are monsters from his dreams that’ll eat him alive.

Naglakad sila patungo sa parking lot nang tahimik. Takot na takot dumikit si Oikawa kay Iwaizumi. Not only because he’s nervous, but also the guilt that’s creeping inside. Kahit baka ito na talaga ang huling araw na magkakasama sila nang ganito.

“Gusto mo na umuwi?”

Unang salita ni Iwaizumi nang makapasok sila sa sasakyan. Oikawa got mixed feelings because it feels like it’s been forever since he last heard his boyfriend’s voice. Ngayon lang din siya tiningnan ng binata buong gabi. 

Tooru just weakly nodded his head.

“Night market sana. But you already look ti—”

“Hindi pa ako pagod. I’m okay with the night market. Bibili rin ako,” he, surprisingly, said in a calm tone.

Mas lalo pang napakalma si Tooru nang hawakan ni Iwaizumi ang malamig niyang kamay bago paandarin ang sasakyan. His heart calmed down until he remembered the confrontation he’s planning to do when they get back to their hotel. 

All he knows is that he’s scared. 

* * *

[You can play [ this ](https://open.spotify.com/track/5TvE3pk05pyFIGdSY9j4DJ?si=A5yfmQDJS42jI3B5oXQEtQ) while reading the rest, enjoy.]

Baguio Night Market tired the hell out of Tooru. Hindi naman siya ganun ka-indecisive noon, pero dahil sa dami nang pinagpipilian, hindi siya makapili. Nakailang tanong siya kay Iwa kung worth it ba. Ang tanging sagot lang nito ay wag na siya mang hinayang dahil libo nga ang ginagastos niya kapag namimili dati. Iwa bought a windbreaker jacket na matagal na niyang minamata sa Manila, 50% off dito, so he didn’t let the chance pass.

In one blink, they were already walking to their hotel room. The older man is still not talking to Oikawa the usual way. Why is he even expecting that things would be normal?

Hajime’s breath hitched when Tooru held his forearm tightly. Binaba nito lahat ng dala nilang gamit sa ibabaw ng pang-dalawang dining table at hinarap siya. 

Oikawa Tooru opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Hindi niya kaya. Hindi siya makahinga. Parang hihimatayin siya sa lakas ng kabog ng dibdib niya, kaya napahigpit ang hawak niya sa braso ni Iwaizumi.

“Are you ready to talk to me?” Hajime asked with soft eyes piercing through Tooru’s soul.

He nodded, trying to tell himself internally to not let his tears betray him as they talk later.

Lumabas ulit sila ng kwarto at naglakad sa labas ng hotel building. It’s almost 9:30 pm, walang masyadong dumadaan na sasakyan. The smooth, cold wind caressing through their skin and hair. The moon was clear in the sky and by Iwaizumi’s observation, it was brighter than the moon they can see in Manila, maybe due to air pollution. 

“Plano mong umalis mag-isa bukas, diba?” 

Iwaizumi looked at him with sad eyes bago tumingin muli sa lupang inaapakan nila. He noticed that Oikawa started to play with his short nails meaning that he is actually nervous right now. 

“How…. how did you know,” mahina— sobrang hinang tanong ni Tooru na para bang hindi niya na kaya pang magsalita. 

“Instinct.”

“But I told you I wouldn’t leave you without goodbyes. Totoo ‘yon.”

“Aalis ka pa rin.” 

“Hindi maliit ang diperensya, kahit may paalam o wala. The fact that you’re planning to leave hurts like shit,” dagdag ni Iwaizumi na siyang ikinatiklop ng bibig ni Oikawa.

Crickets. 

Literal cricket noises filled up the tension, the heat of their conversation. Para bang pati ang mga kuliglig, nakikinig at nakikisali sa usapan nila. 

It took them a whole minute to recollect themselves from what Iwaizumi just said. Mostly Oikawa, dahil kaunti nalang bibigay na talaga ang mga luha niya. While Iwaizumi is trying to calm himself down. Ayaw niyang mapagsalitaan ng kung ano si Tooru, kaya kinolekta niya ang mga naiisip na sabihin.

“Mattsun told me you couldn’t sleep the night before we left.”

_Gagong Matsukawa._

“Kasi alam ko na,” Hajime’s voice got a little bit louder kaya mas lalong tumitig sa kanya ang kausap. 

“Maghihiwalay tayo. Hindi naman ako manhid. Pero Tooru, gusto ko lang malaman, masama bang umasa ako na sana hindi totoo? Masama bang magtanong kung anong nagawa ko? Kasi, putangina, wala akong maisip. Hindi ko alam kung nahibang na talaga ako dahil sobrang mahal kita, o hindi ko alam kasi gago na talaga ako dati pa.” 

The younger shook his head heavily, eyes showing disapproval as he held Iwaizumi’s freezing hands. 

“Ikaw ang pinaka hindi gago sa lahat ng nakilala ko. You’re the person who made me feel loved me the most. You made me feel like, even if the world turned against me, ako pa rin ang pipiliin mo. ”

“Bakit ka aalis? Wala akong maisip na rason para itigil ‘to,”

“Because it’s… it’s not working, Iwa. It won’t work.”

“Not working? Tooru, masaya tay—”

“Ngayon! Because we escaped our problems. We left it in Manila, we didn’t bring it here. Pagbalik, back to normal? We barely see each other because of our busy sched. We talk through the phone, ilang beses? Twice? Thrice a week? Pati mga kaibigan ko, hindi na alam na may jowa pa ako.”

“Paano kita kakausapin, eh, ikaw ‘tong umiilag? Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba nagaasikaso ka ng college admission, o busy ka sa business niyo. Hindi mo ako sinipot sa UP Town kahit um-oo ka dahil may emergency meeting. Tinanggihan mo nung niyaya kitang mag-bulalo nung pagod na pagod ka.” 

Oikawa just stood there beside him, quickly looking up but with closed eyes. Naaalala niya. Lahat ‘yon. Hindi siya pinatulog ng mga ginawa niyang ‘yon.

“Nagpunta ako sa shop ni Tita para dalhan kayo ng merienda, pero sabi busy ka. Nagpunta ulit ako nung sumunod na araw para sunduin ka, hindi ka naman pwede. Tangina, Tooru, miss na miss kita,” halos manginig na ang boses ni Iwaizumi sa huling pangungusap na binitawan niya. 

Ngayon lang, sa ilang linggo niyang tinago sa lahat pati sa mismong sarili niya, ngayon lang nalabas kung ano ba talagang nararamdaman niya.

He just wants to see Tooru. Because Tooru is his epitome of comfort. Tooru is his escape from the cruel fucking world. Tooru is the light amongst the chaos ensued in his life. 

Ang gusto lang naman ni Iwa nung mga panahon na ‘yon, maramdaman ang presensya ni Tooru. Kahit isang kita lang. 

Isang hawak. 

Isang yakap.

Ayos na si Iwa doon. Hindi niya mawari kung paano sila napunta sa ganitong sitwasyon.

“Tooru, ngayon mo sabihin, kung hindi ako yung problema, edi ano? Wala akong problema sayo. Just... tell me. Kasi gusto kong ayusin. Lahat.” Sabay piga sa hawak niyang kamay. 

Oikawa thinks he’s a fucking loser right now. Nakahibing mga labi, may namumuong bukol sa lalamunan niya, Oikawa knows he’s really about to cry.

Iwaizumi startled when he heard Oikawa was already sobbing.

“God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Hajime. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Sunod-sunod na naglabasan ang mga luha niya. Pagsisihan niya ‘to buong buhay niya. Why is he leaving the person who loves him more than he even loves himself? 

Dahan-dahan siyang niyakap ni Iwaizumi. His warmth is so familiar. His warmth is something Tooru will never get used to, something he will never get tired of. Lalo siya naiyak nang maramdamang hinigpitan nito ang yakap sa bewang niya.

Hajime and Tooru stayed like that for a while. Hindi matahan ang pagiyak ni Tooru, at habang tumatagal, parang gusto na rin lumabas ng mga luha ni Hajime. 

“It’s so hard. Ang hirap,” the man buried in Iwaizumi’s neck and shoulder mumbled. 

“I know, baby. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready to talk.” 

Kumalas si Oikawa unti-unti, pinunasan ang mga luha niya. He’s determined to explain. Oikawa wants go talk, kahit na sagabal siguro ang paminsan-minsang hikbi niya. 

“Iniisip ko kung may kasalanan ka ba bakit nagkaganito tayo. Pero parang wala, eh. You’re the complete opposite of me. You know yourself so well. You’re always ready to give me everything. Ready kang ibigay lahat lahat mo hanggang maubos ka para sakin.”

Oikawa looked away, holding back another batch of his tears. Iwaizumi still looked at him with complete concentration. He wants to know. And he’s willing to understand.

“Ako, hindi. Not because I don’t love you—God knows how much I love you—pero hindi ko kayang ibigay yung lahat lahat ng sarili ko dahil ako mismo, I don’t even know myself. I don’t know what to give you. I don’t know what to give myself. Paano ako magbibigay ng bagay na ako mismo, wala? And it’s tiring—it’s draining me.” 

He looked back at Hajime who’s still focused on him. Mas lalo lang nahihirapan si Oikawa because suddenly, he wants to stay. He actually wants to stay. Gusto nalang niya biglang manatili para mas makasama nang mahaba ang kaharap.

“And I know, hindi man ngayon but at some point if we continue this, mapapagod ka rin,” he added, voic shaking, after a long pause.

“Ikaw lang nagsasabi niya—”

“C’mon Iwa! Hindi ako masasaktan kung sabihin mo yung totoo.” 

“Puta, hindi ako mapapagod kasi ikaw yung pahinga ko! Kahit sobrang kaunti ng ibigay mo, wala akong pakielam.” 

“That’s not how a relationship works! It should be give and take. It should be balanced. Hindi yung ikaw lang lagi, Iwa, please. It’s okay if you get angry with me. Kung magtanim ka ng sama ng loob. I admit all my mistakes and I’m sorry.” 

“Hindi. Wala akong nararamdaman ngayon, Tooru. Blangko. Manhid. Oo, nasasaktan ako pero magalit? ‘Yan ang pinakahuli kong maiisip na maramdaman ngayon.” 

Oikawa looked at him with blurry vision, hot tears pooling his eyes for the second time.

“You’re making it hard for me to leave, Haj…” 

“Because I don’t want you to leave.” 

Tooru heaved a sigh, looking up to stop his tears from falling. 

“I need to. Dati, hindi ako naniniwala sa mga palabas na kailangan lang nila hanapin yung sarili nila. Pero totoo pala ‘yun,” Tooru bitterly chuckled, tasting saltiness from his own tears.

“This is already draining for me, paano kapag nagtagal, tapos ikaw rin pagod na? Love isn’t always enough. Nagmatigas lang tayo. Iwa, this is for the better.” 

Yumuko si Iwaizumi at umiling. He still doesn’t get it. How is this better? He doesn’t want to be selfish, but for once—kahit ngayon lang—he wants to keep Oikawa with him. For the rest of his life. 

Pero paano niya yun gagawin kung hindi naman pala siya masaya? Kung pagod si Tooru? Kung nasasakal lang si Tooru? Hindi siya kumpleto. May hinahanap na hindi kayang punan ng pagmamahal ni Iwaizumi. Kahit gaano karami pang ibigay ni Iwa, hindi pa rin siya makuntento. 

Then, it clicked to him. 

Oikawa is still not ready for this type of relationship. Kasi si Iwaizumi, handa na. 

He’s ready to spend all his time with him.

He’s ready to grow old with him.

Pero si Oikawa, hindi pa.

Kaya niyang ibigay lahat ng oras, ng pasensya, ng unawa, kasi alam na ni Iwaizumi kung saan siya totoong sumasaya. Iwaizumi already knows what he wants and what he doesn’t. Buo na ang isip ni Iwaizumi.

Si Oikawa, hindi pa. Oo, masaya siya kay Iwaizumi, but he still feels off sa hindi malamang dahilan. 

And that’s really not how a relationship works, tulad nga ng sabi sa kanya ni Tooru kanina. It will always drain Tooru, kahit handa pa niyang intindihin ‘to nang lubos pa sa lubos. Iwaizumi understands now that maybe Oikawa feels that they’re too young to be this serious.

God, how it clicked to him now. 

“You’re right,” Iwaizumi spoke up out of nowhere, making Oikawa look at him with wide-eyes. 

“Kung ito yung paraan para maging okay ka. Para totoong sumaya ka, pumapayag na akong tapusin ‘to.” Tooru frowned at what his boyfriend just said. Ex-boyfriend. And he didn't even expect Iwaizumi to agree with him.

Ineexpect nito na aalis siya nang galit sila sa isa’t isa. Aalis siya nang hindi na siya mahal ni Iwa. But Jesus Christ, aalis siya na sobrang mahal pa rin nila yung isa’t isa. 

Tahimik silang tumayo doon. Iwaizumi looked down at his shoes, hands inside the pocket of his jacket. While Oikawa turned his head up to see the cloudless night sky. _Ang hirap pala talaga._

“May iba ka pa bang sasabihin,” Tanong ni Hajime sa mababang boses.

Lumingon si Oikawa at tumango.

 _Putangina, meron pa_. Hajime said inside of his head, bracing himself for another news. 

“Magc-college ako sa US. I took SATs back in Grade 10, bago pa maging tayo. That’s the reason I got busy, too.” 

Nanahimik lang ang kausap, kaya tumitig lang si Oikawa. He’s still processing the information, masyado nang maraming nangyari ngayong araw. 

“Kailan alis mo?” 

Nagulat pa si Tooru na nagtanong ito. 

“First week of June.” 

_Ah, wala na sa birthday ko_. Tumango lang si Iwaizumi. Hindi pinapansin ang sakit na nararamdaman niya sa puso ngayon. Hindi pinapansin ang namumuong bukol sa lalamunan. 

“Mag-ingat ka doon. Alam mo naman saan ako. Baka maisipan mo lang hindi tumuloy, malaki pa naman siguro espasyo sa UP,” nakuha pa niyang magbiro kaya kumunot lang ang noo ni Tooru sa sinabi niya. 

Hindi natatawa si Oikawa. Nalulungkot siya. Nasasaktan. Kung kailan nasabi na niya lahat, tsaka pa parang gusto niya na lang sumama kay Iwaizumi sa kahit saan. 

Without any word, they went back to their room. Nabuwag naman na ang tensyon, pero ramdam pa rin na iba ang ihip ng hangin sa kanilang dalawa. Nagsimula silang magligpit ng mga gamit at pinili dahil sa umaga, aalis na sila. Nang magkahiwalay.

“Oikawa,” tawag ni Iwaizumi mula sa kama. Nakita niyang umiinom pa ng kape ang kasama. 

“Yeah?”

Oikawa puts his cup of coffee down, facing the bed’s direction kung saan nakaupo si Iwaizumi.

“Tinext ko si Alisa.” 

“Huh? What about Alisa?” Tilting his head slightly, doing it out of habit especially when he’s confused.

“Susunduin ka niya bukas ng madaling araw. Alam kong ayaw mong ako pa yung maghatid sayo. Delikado mag-commute,” sagot ni Iwaizumi bago umiwas ng tingin.

He’s ready to sleep. But he’s not ready to face the next morning without Oikawa. 

**_Gago, wala na kami._**

The sentence is like a song stuck in his head. Ayaw man niya isipin, nandun pa rin. Hindi niya matanggap. Pumayag lang siya pero mahirap pa rin tanggapin sa kaloob-looban niya.

“Can we sleep together for the last time?” 

Nakatalikod si Iwaizumi mula sa pwesto ni Oikawa. He felt the mattress sink, so he knows that Tooru’s there beside him. Inangat niya ang ulo niya para makita si Oikawa. 

“Ayoko, maiiyak lang ako.”

“Then let’s cry together. For the last time.” 

Napangiti nang kaunti si Iwaizumi nang makitang bukal sa puso ni Oikawa ang hiling. Ayaw niya matapos ang gabing ‘to. Sa huli, umayos siya ng higa at binuka ang braso para makayakap si Oikawa. The latter pouted but still dived in for the former’s embrace.

“Mamimiss kita,” bulong nito habang hinahaplos ang pisngi ni Tooru gamit ang hinlalaki niya.

He’s trying to imprint in his mind every single detail of Oikawa Tooru’s face. Impossible man na malimutan niya ang itsura nito, hindi siya siguro kung kailan niya muling masisilayan ang mukha niya. 

“Iwa-chan, quota na yung mata ko kakaiyak. Let’s try cherish this. Isipin mo huling araw ngayon ng fairytale natin.”

A tear escaped from Iwa’s eye and Oikawa immediately wiped it away. He frowned, kind of guilty and scared and sad that he hurt Iwaizumi. He can’t help but secretly blame himself. Hinalikan niya na lang ito sa pisngi, sunod ang labi bago tinitigan muli ang mga mata nito.

“Mahal na mahal kita.” 

“I love you the most, Hajime.” 

Iwaizumi’s last memory was them kissing tenderly on the lips, him showering Tooru with kisses on the forehead, while Tooru showered his cheeks with soft pecks, and an arm hugging around his body. Lumipas ang ilang oras, pagdilat ng mga mata, wala na si Oikawa sa tabi niya.

**IKATLONG ARAW**

“He barely ate his pancake, Haj. Umiiyak siya the whole ride, natigil lang nung nakatulog siya. And you know, when I saw him sa hotel lobby, umiiyak na siya. Gosh, Hajime, are you sure you didn’t do something to him? Kasi aawayin talaga kita,” Alisa, on the other line of the phone, exclaimed. 

Iwaizumi tried to keep his focus on the road, putting away his distracting thoughts about Oikawa. But he couldn’t, kaya naman kinumusta niya pa ngayon kay Alisa. Sabi ng kausap na nasa Manila na sila at kumakain sa Mcdo, since Tooru said he’s starving. Awang-awa rin si Alisa sa kaibigan, she couldn’t help but wonder why they have to end things if they don’t want to.

“I didn’t, Alisa. Naghiwalay nga kami. Nasaan siya ngayon?”

“Nasa restroom. Wait, ayan na siya. I’ll tell him na kinumusta mo siya mamaya, baka umiyak dito kapag sinabi ko now. Okay, bye.” Aalma sana si Iwaizumi na wag nalang sabihin kaso binabaan na siya ni Alisa. 

Marry me by Train started blasting at the whole vehicle when the call ended. Umiling si Iwaizumi, sa lahat talaga ng mga kanta, kung ano pa yung naiisip niya si Oikawa ang tumutunog palagi. 

Pagod si Hajime at inaamin niya ‘yon. 5am, after an hour of Oikawa’s departure, he got up and went to Mines View Park just to watch the sunrise. Ang tanging nasa isip niya lang nung mga oras na iyon ay sana nasa tabi niya si Tooru. He went to Good Shepherd next to buy some Baguio goods that his family reminded him to buy as pasalubong. 

On a daily basis, hindi naman siya mapapagod sa ganitong mga lakaran kaso masakit ang puso niya. Literal na hindi siya makahinga. Iwaizumi just wants to go home and lie down on his bed and rest. And that’s exactly what he did when he got back to Manila.

The thing is Iwaizumi still feels tired after all the sleep he had done to forget the pain—not Tooru. Iwaizumi feels numb at the same time. Iwaizumi feels Oikawa’s embrace and kisses whenever he tries to sleep at night. He had to endure the tightening of his chest whenever he sees strawberries or whenever he hears a certain song that associates with Oikawa Tooru.

Yeah, that’s the thing. 

He can never be at ease because Tooru is his rest. Tooru is his home. And this Oikawa Tooru he’s looking for every day and every night, is no longer in his life. The Oikawa Tooru he needs is not there anymore.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this, i cried 3 times while writing this shit. AND this is the first time i actually wrote something this long AND it's iwaoi so I'm quite happy. kudos & comments are HIGHLY appreciated! 
> 
> you can also contact me on twitter [ @hajioru ](https://twitter.com/hajioru)
> 
> AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH!! i hope you enjoyed this 7.2k raw unproofread word vomit of mine :]


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